Flashes of my friends conversations were streaming through my mind:
“There are some mad sex scenes, bro!”
“Dude, you should see what all they do!”
“FULL NANGU, BRO!" [Indian slang for naked. You’re welcome.]

Unfortunately, piracy comes with its own risks. I had downloaded an Arabic torrent of the show that had censored every nude scene with a giant black blob that included Arabic text—which I guess translated to, No boobies for you. Boobies are Haraam. Only hump you see is Camel Hump. 

Eventually, I got to see a proper version of the show. As the years passed, I’ve read the books, I’ve absorbed the fan fiction, I've binged on the memes—and I still can’t get enough of Game of Thrones.

The one thing that’s always impressed me the most about the show was not its characters, dragons or intense levels of death, but just how far the show was willing to push the boundaries of sex on television. (The show has also been criticized for its explicit, nonconsensual sex scenes, but for this column, let’s just focus on all the consensual acts. OK? Please don’t tweet angry things to me? Imagine a teddy bear has written the rest of this column. Cool?) Everyone was having sex, and every single version of sex was shown, including straight couples, same-sex couples, incest, threesomes, orgies and a sex scene involving a witch producing a shadow baby (something which we will all collectively forget). Game of Thrones literally got to be known as the show that put the "oh" in HBO.

Why does this excite me so much? You see, I live in India, a country that’s filled with as many people as the White Walker army. (The similarities don't end there! The moment you talk to an Indian about sex, we become cold and distant.) India is a sexually repressed country with a huge population…but we do not talk about sex! It’s true! According to Indian elders … nobody has sex. Children are just ordered off Amazon (sometimes in bulk deals).

Indian pop culture has also had an extremely skewed view of sex. For the longest time, sex in Bollywood was shown as two lovers running toward each other, and the camera panning out to focus on two flowers intermingling. (In those flowers' defense, they were really in the mood.)

As the years progressed, our sex scenes improved and evolved. Currently, cinematic sex is mostly soft porn, and every scene involves a guy and girl removing everything but their underwear and then grasping at each other’s bodies as if they are earthworms pulled out of the ground.

In stark contrast to this, there was GoT. It's a show with full-frontal nudity—or as I’d like to call it, “I am not watching this show with my parents.” The sex was aplenty and reckless, and everyone got laid. (If Samwell could get some action, then there’s hope for all of us.)

In fact, I feel we can go ahead and show GoT episodes to school kids as a form of sex education. They would learn some great things, like:

1. If a kid catches you and your sister having sex, then you can kill him by pushing him off a tower.
2. Make sure you have enough sex before your wedding because it may just end with everyone being killed by your wedding band.
3. If you just have a day before the war begins, then you can go ahead and sleep with your crush. (Guess Arya Stark finally got her needle, if you know what I mean.)

Actually, scratch that. These lessons are not exactly perfect for Indian culture.

The latest season is in progress, and currently there is not enough sex and death, but as the finale approaches, I’m literally hoping that everyone avoids war and just sleeps with each other. I'd like Game of Thrones to push the sexual boundaries, and even show dragons having fiery sex in caves. I hope GoT goes down in history as the definitive Kama Sutra of fictional shows. Winter is coming—and everyone else should be, too.