Sex Me in the Soul: How Astral Intercourse Became a Phenomenon

When humanity tires of the anatomy allotted to us by circumstance and biology, where can we turn next for a new frontier of penetrative sex? Simple. The soul. It has been argued as of late that the soul can be sexually penetrated through a practice called “astral sex,” an increasingly popular yet ancient coital technique. The sex act has become nothing short of a viral sensation. It’s the so-called “bizarre new bedroom trend where you can’t get pregnant or catch an STD” according to the Mirror and the one that’s “better than regular sex,” according to an AstralDynamics.com forum page, which admittedly is probably biased. I had to know more, so I called up clinical hypnotherapist and astral sex specialist Dr. Steve G. Jones and transformational sex coach Allie Theiss and implored them to explain what exactly astral sex is and how to have it. According to them, astral sex is like the Westward Expansion of the bedroom, a brave new world where energy—not flesh—is the erotic organ. To get there, however, Jones and Theiss say you must be able to astral project, or consciously travel outside of your own body to another dimension called the astral plane. The astral plane, as Jones explains, is similar to ones in the multiverse popularized by the famed theory physicist Michio Kaku—an exact visual replica of our own, only matter is made of energy, not molecules. Because of that, the intercourse that takes place on the astral plane is not the sex we recognize, know and love on Earth. Rather, sex in astral land occurs as a “merging of people’s energies for the purpose of pleasure.” This takes place not to satiate the genitals or to procreate, but to gratify the soul, or what I’ve now taken to calling the fourth hole. 

Soul-based sex, says Jones, is unique and desirable because it’s free from the usual sexual norms and expectations we commonly place on each other in the terrestrial plane. Since there is no physical stimulation of the genitals, only of energy, the astral plane is a free-for-all when it comes to how you can pursue your fantasies and express your desires. You can have literally any sort of sex you want. You just have to will it into existence. 

Apparently, on the astral plane, you can also inhabit any sex. If you’ve got a vagina, you can make it a penis. Or two penises. Fuck it, 36 penises with little vaginas replacing the pee holes. If you’re skinny, you can be fat. If you’re old, you can be young. If you’re disabled, you can swing from the rafters and do six pushups. You can soul-bang someone on the other side of the world. It’s totally inclusive, gender-neutral, non-judgmental. You can be in any position. You can have any number of partners, so long as their astral body consents to having sex with yours. There are no fake orgasms. No erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety or whiskey dick. All welcome absences Jones says can make men feel liberated like never before. 

Sound too good to be true? It might be. However, that’s up to you. While there’s zero scientific evidence that astral projection—or the orgasmic convergence of people’s energies in another dimension—are real phenomena, there does seem to be a curious abundance of historical accounts of projection, both sexual and otherwise. As early as 5000 B.C., ancient Egyptians were experimenting with astral projection, ritualizing and ingraining the astral body into their theological culture—they called it Kha. They left inscriptions and drawings on the walls of temples and buildings, representing it as a light separating from the physical body. During this period, initiation trials were held to test the ability of an individual to leave his or her body, with the highest marks going to those who were able to materialize in front of an audience—a fun party trick you can try at your next baby shower. Across the stream, the ancient Greeks were well-known to dabble in out-of-body experiences, and there are several verses in the Bible that describe projection. There’s even an entire religion—Eckankar—dedicated to it. So, while it’s become a much smaller part of modern culture today, your great-great-great-great grandfathers were definitely astral boning…or at least trying to. And how does it feel? Nothing like physical sex, says Jones. At least not at first. You can train yourself to have physical sensations, but when you’re first starting off, Jones says it’s usually more spiritually and emotionally orgasmic than physically so. “It’s like the best of the best lovemaking you’ve ever had multiplied by ten, minus the physical stuff,” he tells me. “Picture the feeling of having a soulmate, but exponentially stronger.” Indeed, he says, when you wake up, that souped-up soulmate feeling can help strengthen the romantic connection with your partner, or whoever happens to be in your bed at the time. It’s a great way to increase intimacy, enhance feelings and push your sex life further—if by “further” you mean past the stratosphere. 

And once you’re a little more experienced and can channel the pulsating ooey-gooiness of soul sex into something genital? Theiss says the physical sensation of astral sex is…well, I’ll just let her explain: 

“You know what Pop Rocks are, right?” she asks me. Yeah, I say. I know what Pop Rocks are. 

“Say that you jumped in a vat of Pop Rocks, and somebody shoved an electrical rod up your ass, excuse my language. Astral sex feels like that. Like your body is the grand finale of a fireworks display.” 

Alrighty, then! I’m not sure I want an electrical rod up my ass, but that part notwithstanding, I was dying to try. I asked her if I—a particularly unspiritual person with zero interdimensional experience—could try. 

“Anyone who wants to add an extra dimension to their sex life can have it,” she tells me. “With practice, it’s not actually that hard.” However, she adds that it can be particularly liberating for people whose sexuality is confined by bodily limitations or restrictive social structures. The sick, the shy, the shackled—this one’s for you. You can even do it while masturbating, she says. 

Actually, both her and Jones tell me that most people have already had astral sex—or astral projected—without knowing it. In the physical realm, they say, it commonly occurs during those too-rare times where you’re having super connected sex that feels like your souls are intertwined, when the pleasure you feel seems to transcend the physical. Episodes of projection can also happen during “hypnagogia,” or that transient moment between sleep and wakefulness.

I had Theiss and Jones guide me through the basic steps of astral projection and astral sex training with the hopes they could train me to fuck in another dimension and come back down to earth, newly experienced with that elusive fourth-hole. Theiss’ guide to astral sex was particularly helpful, and Jones kindly gifted me with an astral sex hypnosis MP3, which I listened to nightly for the recommended two weeks. Most of the training I undertook centered around learning to lucid dream and separate my astral body from the skin sack I wear on this planet, the essential first step for any aspiring astral projectionist. As per Theiss and Jones’ instructions, I also employed my signature brand of half-assed meditation, repetitive affirmations and visual cues to help inspire lucid dreams. When I was able to get myself in a somewhat meditative state, I focused intently on the thought of having my astral body roll out of my physical one, over and over, until one night, on Day 10 of my astral sex diet, I felt a tug. It was a distinct pulling sensation on my upper body, almost like string cheese when you peel part of it away. I was really doing it! Or, at least I was until the massive excitement I felt at finally reaching separation snapped me out of it. I slammed back into consciousness, just a hair short of astral banging an energy being. What does a girl have to do to get a soul fuck around here? I wondered aloud to my cat. I was really working up a sweat trying to find an astral being to go down on my high vibrational pussy, and I needed some reassurance. I called up Jones and asked him what you’re supposed to do if you can’t quite get it. He spoke understandingly of a double-edged sword—to have astral sex, you have to be exceptionally calm and meditative, yet the feelings you experience are so intense and exciting that it’s hard to remain calm. It just takes practice, he tells me. There’s also not one right way to do this. While the steps and advice outlined by Theiss and Jones may work for them and some other people, there’s no saying they’ll work for you. So, Jones says, don’t get discouraged if you’re having difficulty entering into the astral plane using their techniques—it may be that you just need to develop your own. 

It also helps to have an existing connection with the person you’re trying to astral bone, he tells me. (I didn’t, which might explain things). While it’s typical to encounter unfamiliar energy bodies, other astral projectionists and assorted strangers in the astral plane, a deep and trusting intimacy between you and your partner is the most effective way to connect for beginners. Jones says this is because people who are emotionally connected are already energetically connected. Doesn’t have to be romantic love—it could also be a great friendship or a fuck buddy who’s into the metaphysical. 

If you don’t currently have a willing or trustworthy partner, don’t worry. Jones says you can still cruise the astral world as much as you would Tinder. There are plenty of DTF astral entities—both human and not—looking for casual energy merging. I was in the market for one of those, but after two weeks and too many repetitions of their recommended methods to count, I’ll admit I lost interest. My soul was horny and wanted astral sex now, and all the delayed gratification just pushed me closer to seeking it in its more readily available real-world form. 

I still believe it’s possible, and I’m encouraged by the near-endless internet anecdotes of successful astral travelers merging energies in impossibly pleasurable ways, but for now, that fourth hole remains elusive for yours truly. 

I’ll keep trying, but for now, I’ll settle with earthbound finger-banging.