My mom bought me my first Playboy in 2000. I was 12 years old, and it was the December Gala Christmas issue with pink neon-lit Carmen Electra lettering, the bombshell brunette perched in a silver ornament wearing nothing but sequined pumps. The sex oozed. I remember jokingly picking it up at the convenience store (not so ironically named The Family Pantry) just blocks from my house when my mom asked me if I wanted it. Without question, as a curiously libidinous adolescent, I said yes. Apparently, this really was The Family Pantry.
While the language we may use to describe ourselves is ever-changing, gender non-conforming people are not “new” nor are we a “trend.”
And when asked if my pronouns are plural I say yes: I am a multidimensional dynamic human being. We all are.
While the language we may use to describe ourselves is ever-changing, gender non-conforming people are not “new” nor are we a “trend.” Historically, in every corner of the world, multiples genders have been recognized, celebrated and worshipped by indigenous peoples. Because of colonialism and coercive religious indoctrination, alternative understandings of gender and sexuality have been demonized and erased.
Today, 71 gender options are available on Facebook. Everyday younger generations are rewriting terminology for identity and expression, and I can’t help but beam with pride. This isn’t a new fad; this is the reawakening of what has always been through the social media revolution.
ALL OF IT IS YOU, ALL OF IT IS YOU, ALL OF IT IS YOU.
Okay, if at this point in reading y’all are wondering what the shit are they going on about? I got you. This is my freedom—freedom beyond the sexual. The ability to live queerly and unapologetically without fear of getting bashed or killed. The ability to recognize the privilege I have based on my appearance, my straight and cis passing-ness, where I was born, where I live, the color of my skin, the money I make, the marriage I have, the job, the celebrity, the everything. The oneness.
ALL OF IT IS YOU. ALL OF IT IS YOU ALL OF IT IS YOU.ALL OF IT IS YOU IS THE YOU THAT IS IN EVERYTHING.
This is an offering from the universe. It has allotted me the recognition of my own entirety and the world's complexity at large. It has granted me the gift of reconciliation of just how complex sex, sexuality and gender will always be. No matter what. I love you all. No matter what.I still am not 100 percent sure why my mom felt so inclined to buy me that first Playboy except that she’s the coolest mom ever (and that she wanted me to be straight, but that’s another piece entirely). Fuck, I’m not 100 percent sure of anything. But I have an idea it was, is, and will forever be a step in the right direction. Thanks, mommy. And thank you, Carmen Electra.
Nico Tortorella currently stars on Younger, which just premiered its fifth season on TV Land. His book of poetry, all of it is you.: poetry, was published by Crown Archetype in April 2018 and is available now.
Playboy Pride: Celebrate Love With Our Rainbow Rabbit Head Tees
The Rabbit, advocate of sexual freedom, wants to march with you this Pride season