When #MuteRKelly Sounds Like a Broken Record
A new docuseries on the singer makes his abuses undeniable
Frank Micelotta/invision/AP/Shutterstock
Chances are anything you did this last weekend was overshadowed by the heartbreaking discussions stemming from Lifetime’s three-part docuseries Surviving R. Kelly.
Full disclosure: I couldn’t bring myself to watch it. Even though the curiosity of seeing these stories finally brought to light tugged at me, I knew I couldn’t handle it emotionally. Yet the flood of triggering tweets surrounding what was being depicted on-screen made me feel like I was watching every minute anyway, and the conversations sparked by this decades-long-hush-hush situation reminded me why sexual assault survivors are often let down. Men in the music industry from Dame Dash to Meek Mill are now coming out against R. Kelly with the #MuteRKelly, but the chiming in feels long overdue and speaks to the tight lips everyone seems to get when it comes to abuses of power.
Of course, my personal experiences with abusers created a strong emotional response, but even with putting that aside, I couldn’t understand why we continue to protect famous people who do terrible things.
Robert Sylvester Kelly is a pedophile, who has been targeting, abusing and raping young girls for decades. He has been protected by those close to him and has been putting authority figures on his payroll, making all of them complicit in his crimes. And yet, after hearing these facts—and the stomach-churning testimonies of his victims who mustered up the courage to speak about such horrific details on a public platform—you still want to hold on to the false image of this man’s innocence because he created some songs you liked 20 years ago?
Of course, my personal experiences with abusers created a strong emotional response, but even with putting that aside, I couldn’t understand why we continue to protect famous people who do terrible things.
Robert Sylvester Kelly is a pedophile, who has been targeting, abusing and raping young girls for decades. He has been protected by those close to him and has been putting authority figures on his payroll, making all of them complicit in his crimes. And yet, after hearing these facts—and the stomach-churning testimonies of his victims who mustered up the courage to speak about such horrific details on a public platform—you still want to hold on to the false image of this man’s innocence because he created some songs you liked 20 years ago?
Yes, R. Kelly had a very troubled childhood, and it’s a shame he couldn’t heal from that and instead chose to distribute his pain onto his victims.
Let it go. Let this illusion of who you believe R. Kelly is as a man and musician go. Let the songs that you loved go. Let the misconstrued idea that children should’ve known better go. Let the judgement of these girls’ parents go. Let the abhorrent argument of separating the man from the music go.
Because guess what? Your idolization of R. Kelly is not aligned with the reality of who he is. Those songs you love so much were inspired by his wretched behavior (Lizzette Martinez revealed during the docuseries that Michael Jackson’s famous track “You Are Not Alone,” penned by R. Kelly, was actually written about their abusive relationship, where she was a teenager and suffered a miscarriage.) Children, including teenagers, should not be held accountable for being manipulated by adults. Parents, while they definitely made some poor decisions, would have never been put in that position if we didn’t allow his misconduct to continue for so long. And no, sorry, there is no separation between the man and the music in matters like this. When you support the art, you support the lifestyle of the artist, and by supporting the lifestyle of this artist, you’re supporting his ability to pay off people so that he can continue to molest children.
You really want to be a part of that ring of accomplices?
Blaming the victim is nothing new in our society. We’re always trying to point the finger at everyone except the person responsible for the horrible actions that were committed, but when will we realize that this deflecting blame game will get us absolutely nowhere other than back here—a place where those who were raped are always at fault, while those who rape are given the benefit of the doubt?
Because guess what? Your idolization of R. Kelly is not aligned with the reality of who he is. Those songs you love so much were inspired by his wretched behavior (Lizzette Martinez revealed during the docuseries that Michael Jackson’s famous track “You Are Not Alone,” penned by R. Kelly, was actually written about their abusive relationship, where she was a teenager and suffered a miscarriage.) Children, including teenagers, should not be held accountable for being manipulated by adults. Parents, while they definitely made some poor decisions, would have never been put in that position if we didn’t allow his misconduct to continue for so long. And no, sorry, there is no separation between the man and the music in matters like this. When you support the art, you support the lifestyle of the artist, and by supporting the lifestyle of this artist, you’re supporting his ability to pay off people so that he can continue to molest children.
You really want to be a part of that ring of accomplices?
Blaming the victim is nothing new in our society. We’re always trying to point the finger at everyone except the person responsible for the horrible actions that were committed, but when will we realize that this deflecting blame game will get us absolutely nowhere other than back here—a place where those who were raped are always at fault, while those who rape are given the benefit of the doubt?
You still want to hold on to the false image of this man’s innocence because he created some songs you liked 20 years ago?
It is sickening and sad to see us continue the cycle of misdirected sympathy.
This behavior is not normal. This ongoing abuse is not okay. It shouldn’t matter if the person behind the act is a nobody from nowhere or one of the biggest names in the music industry. Celebrities are not exempt from being shitty people, so stop giving them passes for being shitty people.
Yes, R. Kelly had a very troubled childhood, and it’s a shame he couldn’t heal from that and instead chose to distribute his pain onto his victims in ways they’ll now have to live with for the rest of their lives. But that is in no way an excuse for his behavior. He knew what he was doing. He went through every precaution for decades to make sure he could continue doing what he was doing without facing any repercussions and has shown no remorse for any of his actions.
And now, by turning the other cheek and arguing in defense of this man and others like him, you know exactly what you’re doing, too.
This behavior is not normal. This ongoing abuse is not okay. It shouldn’t matter if the person behind the act is a nobody from nowhere or one of the biggest names in the music industry. Celebrities are not exempt from being shitty people, so stop giving them passes for being shitty people.
Yes, R. Kelly had a very troubled childhood, and it’s a shame he couldn’t heal from that and instead chose to distribute his pain onto his victims in ways they’ll now have to live with for the rest of their lives. But that is in no way an excuse for his behavior. He knew what he was doing. He went through every precaution for decades to make sure he could continue doing what he was doing without facing any repercussions and has shown no remorse for any of his actions.
And now, by turning the other cheek and arguing in defense of this man and others like him, you know exactly what you’re doing, too.
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